I was dusting down my old picture frames this morning and came across the delightful Jyllands-Posten cartoon with the Muslim gatekeeper asking a queue of suicide bombers to stop because they had run out of virgins up there.
I suspect, however, the cartoonist got it wrong. I imagine the following scene more likely:
Suicide bomber: What am I doing down here?
Beelzebub: You passed the entrance exam with flying colours. You matriculated in the first division. Not only did you submit yourself as a suicide but you also entered the blood of twenty-three innocents. Well done!
SB: But I'm a shahid! I shouldn't be down here! What about the seventy-two virgins we were promised?
B: Where else do you think you will find them? Didn't your prophet tell you about the surplus of females down here?
B: Don't worry, you shall have your virgins – or rather they will have you. Didn't you stop for a moment to think why they were virgins?
[Crescendo of witch-like cackling...]